so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
