I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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