Sponge bath it is.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
