I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
