I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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