I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
