he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
