It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
