I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize