how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
