i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
