Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
