ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
