had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
