my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize