ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
