Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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