I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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