trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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