Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
