I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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