I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
