Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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