Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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