I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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