I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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