Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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