she was so not down for the gang bang
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
