Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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