oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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