ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
