If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
