used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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