I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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