You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
