doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
