Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
