respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
