he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Who put my cat in the fridge?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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