Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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