I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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