YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
