I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I can't turn off my feet"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
