Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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