then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
