you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
