just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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