Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
