We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize