Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
