Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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