hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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