i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
All I want is dick and wine.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
