I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
