Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
