I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
