32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
