that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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