Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
